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Kristina God's avatar

Love this now and then comparison. Without knowing you both I just feel and see you have a wonderful connection and he adores you. Wonderful to see! Brings me joy. Have two small kids. Hope we'll also keep our close bond and relationship

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Mary Bartnikowski's avatar

Hi Kristina, I’m happy you enjoyed it. Thank you.

This is a secret I noticed about raising a teenager, no one told me. When he started to pull away, I had to let him but I made sure I was available and still making “dates” with him. Can we go to the movies together? etc.

Just keep showing up, even when it’s hard, because actions are the key to closeness, you can do it!

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Kristina God's avatar

When did he start to pull away?

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Mary Bartnikowski's avatar

About age 14, but it’s natural to do this when teens get more interested in friends, socializing, and sports. It still stings a bit but you just have to keep knowing you could still be close after they figure out their independence.

And he started world travel before I did and moved to Nepal at age 20.

But we ended up being close because of traveling, despite the distance. And I went to Nepal 6 times to see him.

And we met up in different countries in the world to visit.

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Claire Franky's avatar

Haha! I agree! My ex husband wanted to do it if our daughter had been a boy and I was totally against it. Crazy.

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Mary Bartnikowski's avatar

Absolutely right! Not happening at this address! No freaking way. I had one mother tell me who had done it, "it doesn't hurt them." Delusion land. A world problem.

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Claire Franky's avatar

Happy Birthday to your son! It sounds like you have developed a wonderful parent-adult child relationship. I'm not sure many people are able to do that so well. I hope you have many more adventures together.

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Mary Bartnikowski's avatar

Thanks, now I’m working on not giving him unasked for advice, and since I’m opinionated it’s difficult but my lips are getting more familiar with being shut. :)

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Claire Franky's avatar

Haha! I think we all wish for less advice from our mothers. But we'll want it when it's not there.

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Mary Bartnikowski's avatar

Thank you! This is what I tell myself and you're right. Now I have to talk to my parents without the phone since they have passed but they do answer.

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Claire Franky's avatar

🩵

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Claire Franky's avatar

So many hilarious lines in this! "How to push a football out of a hole the size of a swizzle stick." Brilliant. "Snipping flesh off his privates would be painful." Yes! Yes, it freaking would. Haha. Your ex-mother-in-law sounds like a dream. Or a nightmare.

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Mary Bartnikowski's avatar

You’re making me laugh 😂 thank you. Why don’t new parents say no to this snipping of flesh thing?

When he was born in 1987 most people did this without a thought!

Yes my Ex mother in law was a piece of work. 😳

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